I had heard through the Internets that Tom Green has a new show, streamed live from his house on the Internet via tomgreen.com.

I tuned in one night to find Tom Green talking to Bob Odenkirk (admittedly not as hilarious as David Cross but funny enough) and was instantly reminded of the day I discovered both the Tom Green Show and Mr. Show, playing one after the other on The Comedy Network at 3AM. I had sat and watched, amazed at how hilarious these shows were.

Just under the video window on the Tom Green web site was a toll-free number, so I called it, hoping to share my thoughts and thank the two for existing to create those shows. To my amazement, somebody answered and asked me what my question was. Nervous, I explained that I wanted to tell the two about the time I discovered their two shows a number of years back, and just tell them they were awesome, or something. I then realized that I didn’t have a question to ask, and so did the guy on the other end of the phone. He then suggested I ask how they got together again, which didn’t make much sense to me. I told him I’d make it work and he instructed me to speak loudly if Tom starts talking to me and put me on hold.

Man was I nervous! I was on hold for about 10 or 15 minutes but it seemed to last forever. Since everyone who was on hold could just barely hear each other, I passed the time by yelling “HELLO, TOM GREEN HERE WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION?” every time I heard someone faintly say “hello??”. Two people actually started asking their question. FOOLS! I was the one that got on the show!

The person who initially answered the phone didn’t hear my name right, because Tom and Bob thought my name was “Tyfon” instead of Tyson.

I had decided by this time to ask them if they know each other “in real life”. I think I did pretty good, even though, since there was such a delay I couldn’t tell who Tom was talking to at the time, and answered a question he had directed to Bob

Once they were done answering my question, the phone broke and they ended the show.

NOBODY gets in!

This is a screen cap of a virtual machine test server we have. I’ve never seen this happen before. Logging into the console session via terminal services (mstsc /v:x.x.x.x /console) and logging off again fixed it.

Roomate bonding night: Drunken bowling

Shopping in a deserted Walmart leads to using random fabrics as clothing, so as to create the impression of royalty

Turtlecat: The ultimate challenge to a 17lb cat is to right oneself after being rolled over and laughed at

For some reason I get a lot of traffic, however a great deal of visitors to this site seem to make it here by mistake. I feel I need to share some of the search phrases that have brought people to the site this month.

1. beastility

The number one spot belongs to a word that is actually quite welcoming. It reaffirms my belief that the Internet is still full of trash and fulfills the needs of those who seek it. Unfortunately, it seems some folks found themselves here after searching for porn, and probably didn’t stay too long.

2. peeing

See response to number 1.

3. q8crackers crew

This one was a little confusing, until I realized the term is still on the front page of this site (a reminder to myself to update more often). It’s the name of the elite Kuwait hacking team that hacked my guestbook that I’ve yet to replace.

4. things that make you fart

I actually feel sorry for the one person who needs to know this. Either because they were having GI problems and were in dire need of relief, or they were looking for cute ways to entertain their friends. Either way, I hope (s)he eventually found the right information.

5. fart dot

I’ve never heard the term before, but thinking about it paints a nasty picture.

Well those are the more interesting ones. And now, for my own amusement I will place interesting phrases in this post and hope they show up in my list of search phrases that bring people here.

mantits
shit dot
anal repair
moustache doctor
bum nut
kuwait bowling team

And it only cost me 50 cents

This is the story of 5 people who traveled from London, ON to Thunder Bay, ON in order to get away from the farm smell. It is told with pictures. If you can’t see the pictures, please turn on your eyeballs. If you want larger version of these pictures (as they are much prettier than the tiny versions) feel free to email me.

As a native of Thunder Bay, I was the guide on a tour full of fresh air, trees, toothless hookers and beer! Allright enough with the jibba jabba, let’s get this party started..

En Route:

It’s 12:30 AM, Friday night (or Saturday morning?). Here we are waiting for Mike’s CD to burn. He has a crazy slow burner from the 80s I think.

A very tightly packed Caravan.

We arrived in Tobermory at 4:30 am. A little early, considering we had to wait for the 7AM ferry.

Read the rest of this entry »

In response to a job posting for on-air DJ talent, I sent the following email:

———-
Date: Fri, 6 May 2005 19:34:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: “Edward Crankins”
Subject: Job Posting; Internet – Resume attached
To: aaron@xxxxxx.com

Dear Anron,

It is with deepest typing fortitude i compose you this
email whish is full of my intormation! I want to be a
working person and I think you will hire me once you
see the web site I coded in javex.

Please see it!

It is at the internet:

http://www.geocities.com/ebcrankins/hire-me.htm

I have also included a cd-rom attachment in file
formatting if you wish to view my resume in Microsoft.

Have a good day!

Love,
Edward Crankins, Esq, Jr,
(Microsoft Certificated to use Microsoft)
———-

The link is a primitive Powerpoint presentation converted to html. I was sure to include phrases pasted directly from the job posting to be sure I got hired! Unfortunately, I was not hired. Anron didn’t even respond to the email.

Me and Jen went to Stratford, which was cool for the most part. I’m going to tell the tale with pictures.

What I thought would set the tone for the trip was the fact that our hotel, aside from being a hotel, sold Barbie clothes. Not Barbies, just the clothes:

Read the rest of this entry »

Many years ago, I thought this was the best site on the Internet. Constructed as a very detailed extension of an ongiong IRC prank by Ant, The National Certification Board “is not something to be taken lightly”.

In the Information Centre you will find oulines of numerous crazy projects, my favourite of which are the Octo-Hovercoats

He was kind enough to explain the origins of the site..

Read the rest of this entry »

And to show their hate, they’ve sent a legion of their top hackers across the entire Internet to deface my guestbook with their unstoppable hacker skills. More appropriately, I find it hard to believe the “Kuwait Hacker Team – Stars Shadow” hasn’t already started their own IT security consulting business.

What the hell is this flag? 

Equipped with the latest in automatic guestbook vulnerability exploits and an obvious need to further their english speaking skills, the Stars Shadow is ready to take over the world.. from the nearest Internet cafe while fighting the snakes off of their tigers.

I saved a copy of the defacement. You can see it here.

Here is the text:

they are some story… i just want say!!but i’ll tell one story to the all hackers

they are some of the Kuwait hackers

and the kuwait hackers just want
to be the better hackers in the world

and in hot fuck day !!
kuwait hacker just start make a team

they are tow great hacker team in
kuwait and they are the most power team in the world

Q8Crackers Crew ( hacking
web page )

KuwaiT HackerS TeaM (
hack pc and mail ) start now hack web

in one day more 100
mail steel by kuwait hacker

and in one day
Q8Crackers hack many web

we just want to be the
better hacker in the word

and will see Kuwait hacker

And The Legend Continue

End

Written by

DosMan

HOLY shit they’re stealing email, and it’s hot out! These pioneers have claimed their fame hacking PCs and mail, and have now set their sights on the Internet. Internet: beware. The legend continue.