Archive for the 'pranks and audio' Category

Why you should hire E.B. Crankins Esq Jr.

Saturday, June 11th, 2005

In response to a job posting for on-air DJ talent, I sent the following email:

———-
Date: Fri, 6 May 2005 19:34:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: “Edward Crankins”
Subject: Job Posting; Internet – Resume attached
To: aaron@xxxxxx.com

Dear Anron,

It is with deepest typing fortitude i compose you this
email whish is full of my intormation! I want to be a
working person and I think you will hire me once you
see the web site I coded in javex.

Please see it!

It is at the internet:

http://www.geocities.com/ebcrankins/hire-me.htm

I have also included a cd-rom attachment in file
formatting if you wish to view my resume in Microsoft.

Have a good day!

Love,
Edward Crankins, Esq, Jr,
(Microsoft Certificated to use Microsoft)
———-

The link is a primitive Powerpoint presentation converted to html. I was sure to include phrases pasted directly from the job posting to be sure I got hired! Unfortunately, I was not hired. Anron didn’t even respond to the email.

I’m stuck in this box, I need some advice

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

I called a cardboard box company, but it turned out to be a plumbing service. Good ol’ Internet. Thanks to Jon McKinnon for the idea for this one.

Stuck in a Box

How much for Playboy?

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

Trying to order the playboy channel on satellite.

How much for Playboy?

Insurance Company/Tyson Industries

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

I confuse the hell out of a nice old lady at an insurance company

Tyson Industries

I need to leave a message for Kathy

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

Random 1-800 number, I need to leave a message for my mom, “Kathy”

I need to leave a message for Kathy

Where’s the party, Arthur?

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

Another random 1-800 number, this time to a modeling agency in Toronto. Decided to use predetermined phrase: “Eat the heads of chickens with a happy attitude”.

Where’s the party, Arthur?

Radio birthday announcement request

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

I emailed this birthday request to Rock 94. Happy birthday to Jimmity Jim Jom Jimmer Jam from Moe and the Crew

Radio birthday announcement request

ChickenFart* Mix

Saturday, August 10th, 2002

A mix of some previous pranks, created by Adam Waito

ChickenFart Mix

*This site was once located at chickenfart.com. For nostalgic purposes, you can view the original site here